By Nate Livsey
Author’s Note: I was asked to speak on this topic in church. Some people asked for access to this talk and so I posted it here for easy access. If you are unfamiliar with a sacrament meeting within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, members are often asked to speak on a particular topic. They essentially take the place of a pastor’s sermon in other Christian churches.
My name is Nate Livsey – my wife Jane and I moved into this ward in 2018. I grew up in the Mandarin 1st Ward and we were married by President (then Bishop) Miller in Jane’s father’s backyard. Before I begin, I want to emphasize that I am not a medical professional, and I cannot offer clinical advice or insight. I can, however, offer advice on my lived experience and how I and others have managed to deal with the various illnesses and mental health challenges we have faced in our time on this earth.
One of my favorite stories of the New Testament is about a man who had a palsy and was bedridden. When the Savior was in the city this man was located, his friends, having heard of the healing miracles the Savior was capable of, took him on his bed to see the Master Healer. The group of people receiving instruction at the feet of the Savior was impenetrable, especially to a group of people carrying a man on a bed.
These fine friends take matters into their own hands and bring their friend onto the top of the roof, dismantle the thatch covering, and lower their friend down at the feet of the Savior.
Elder Brent H. Nielson had an interesting response to the Savior’s statement of, “Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.” Said he:
As I read this account, I was surprised by what the Savior said as He met this man: “Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.”3 I thought that if I had been one of the four men who had carried this man, I might have said to the Savior, “We actually brought him here to be healed.” I think the Savior might have replied, “I did heal him.” Was it possible that I had not fully understood—that the Savior’s healing power was not just His ability to heal our bodies but, perhaps even more important, His ability to heal our hearts and the broken hearts of my family?
To his statement I would add the following – have we perhaps not considered nor understood that the Savior’s healing power encompasses not just physical wounds and injuries, but unseen injuries of the mind and spirit? The “Son of Man hath descended below them all” and drank the bitter cup. Are we so narrow-minded as to think that the bitter cup precluded feelings of guilt, sadness, worthlessness, mood swings, mania, depression, anxiety, and more? The scriptures are full of examples of the Savior performing miraculous acts of healing in regard to physical maladies, but we must read between the lines to understand the spiritual and emotional healing that takes place as well.
In Luke chapter 7, we read the story of the son of the widow of Nain. Luke tells it as follows:
“And it came to pass … that he went into a city called Nain; and many of his disciples went with him, and much people.
“Now when he came nigh to the gate of the city, behold, there was a dead man carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow: and much people of the city was with her.
“And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.
“And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare him stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise.
“And he that was dead sat up and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother.”
What do you think were the young man’s first words when he spoke? I believe that in that moment, the veil between this world and the next was incredibly thin, and that perhaps, for a brief moment, that young man and his mother had a glimpse of eternity. They knew perfectly – for a split second – their Savior. Grief was transformed to hope, sorrow to joy, and a mother and son were given more time with perhaps a greater understanding of the world.
But this is not always the case with us. How do we, as members of the Lord’s restored church, deal with these specific mental and emotional hardships when we do not have direct access to the Savior himself? How are we to be healed when the Master Physician is not in front of us? What hope do we have?
The first thing to note is that the Savior does not and never has seen us as labels or diagnoses. He is our elder brother, and he knows us intimately – our pains and sorrows, but also our successes, joys, and happiness. The Savior takes us, imperfect as we are, and elevates us to a greater purpose and gives us access to an eternal perspective. The world and the adversary would have us view ourselves as lesser, broken, or incomplete. The Savior lifts us up and dignifies us with self-worth, confidence, and belief.
Elder Erich Kopischke recently spoke of this specific topic at the past general conference. Elder Kopischke presided at a stake conference in the Jacksonville Florida South Stake about 8 years ago. My dad was in the stake presidency at the time, and I had a chance to chat with Elder Kopischke after conference about my mental health issues. I was unable to serve as a full-time missionary because of issues related to bipolar disorder. Elder Kopischke knew of these struggles because he had talked to my dad about them and mentioned that he had a son with similar issues. Would I like him to talk to the missionary department to see what they could do? Elder Kopischke asked.
In that moment, he was not a general authority. He was a father. He was concerned for me as a young priesthood holder and saw in me, I believe, some aspects of his son. The simple truth is that there is a great need for more of that kind of love and understanding in the Church.
In his wisdom he stated,
“we need to constantly watch over each other. We must love one another and be less judgmental—especially when our expectations are not immediately met. We should help our children and youth feel the love of Jesus Christ in their lives, even when they struggle to personally feel love for themselves. Elder Orson F. Whitney, who served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, counseled parents how to help struggling offspring: “Pray for your … children; hold on to them with your faith.”
He continues,
“I have often pondered what it means to hold on to them with faith. I believe it includes simple acts of love, meekness, kindness, and respect. It means allowing them to develop at their own pace and bearing testimony to help them feel our Savior’s love. It requires us to think more about them and less about ourselves or others. That usually means speaking less and listening much, much more. We must love them, empower them, and praise them often in their efforts to succeed and be faithful to God. And finally, we should do everything in our power to stay close to them—just as we stay close to God.”
There are many taboos and stigmas surrounding mental health conditions. I have never paid much heed to them. I have always been open about my diagnosis because I did not know I wasn’t supposed to be. Knowing that I had a diagnosis made understanding my mood swings and behaviors a lot easier than if I just thought I was “crazy” or “hormonal”. In many ways I believe that is what our Heavenly Father and our Savior want us to know – a diagnosis can often offer insight and clarity beyond simple adjectives.
The second thing to note about mental health is that there are many different resources in front of us that the Savior desperately wants us to access. If we are diagnosed with a physical illness such as pneumonia, cancer, or a life-threatening infection, do we resign ourselves to sitting on the couch, praying, and saying, “God will work it out”? No! We go to doctors, we receive diagnoses and medicines, treatments and operations, and we do our best to get better.
Just because your specific struggle may not involve a surgery or IVs does not mean that you should not seek professional help. Medication, therapy, group support systems, and more all exist because they work. Does every sickness require medication to get better? No. Does every mental illness require medication to maintain and contain symptoms? Certainly not. However, in my case, my medication serves a very real purpose of stabilizing my moods and keeping me from sliding down into a deep depression.
A lesson I learned a long time ago to help me understand and reckon with my illness is the following: I am not bipolar. I have bipolar disorder. I am a son, brother, husband, teacher, leader, writer, and friend. The Savior and our Heavenly Father see beyond our diagnoses and our shortcomings and elevate us to an eternal perspective of ourselves.
A third note: anyone who has suffered from a mental illness can surely recall times where they felt surrounded by darkness, when all hope seemed gone, and perhaps the day seemed insurmountable. Sometimes it feels like even getting out of bed is like climbing Mount Everest, and we must do it – day in, and day out, with no end in sight. How, then, do we find the strength to move forward?
While the grace and power of the Savior are infinite and endlessly accessible, we sometimes must find ways to crawl toward the light ourselves and allow the Lord to make up the difference. If the best you can do one day is get in the shower, that is an enormous victory. If you cannot even put on deodorant or brush your teeth, but you’re able to get out of the bed, that is a victory. There is no one-size fits all approach in mental health. However, there are some common coping mechanisms we can access with varying success. Based on the most rigorous of academic studies, a Facebook poll, the following were mentioned:
- Engaging with a beloved hobby or task
- Counting or making note of things you can count when feeling overwhelmed (5-4-3-2-1)
- Movement, from fidget toys to dancing to running and yoga and basketball
- Rereading or rewatching favorite books, movies, or television shows
- Pets and loved ones
- Writing thoughts to organize them
- Finding a quiet place to think or cry or meditate or even scream
- Tasks that require concentration but not a lot of critical thought (gardening, cooking, manual labor)
- Prayer, scripture study or reading, meditation
- Drawing, cleaning, taking a shower
- Intentional breathing
- Going outside and getting sunshine
- Listening to music
These are all things that can help us find our footing, find our center, and find our way back to the path the Lord has illuminated for us. But they are not the only things.
While I do not have hope for a cure in my lifetime, I do have ultimate hope in the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is He, after all, who “descended below them all. Art thou greater than He?” It is He who was nailed to the cross on Calvary. It is He who suffered the collective pains, sufferings, and difficulties of all who have ever been, are, or will be. It is He who drank the bitter cup, and it is He who, on the third day, arose. It is He, and He alone, who can truly understand the depths of my sorrow, and extent of my grief, and the magnitude of my suffering. It is because of this that I can be pulled out of the depths of the darkest pit, the unlit depths of the deepest sea, or the encircling branches of the densest forest. It is because of Him that I have hope that my mind will be healed and perfected in time, either in this life or the next.
In closing, I would like to share the words to a favorite hymn. Many hymns have brought me peace over my life, and this is a holy song that I occasionally forget about from time to time.
“Abide with me! fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens. Lord, with me abide!
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me!
Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day.
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see;
O thou who changest not, abide with me!
I need thy presence ev’ry passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!”
It is my testimony that if we cling to the truth we know, the light we have received, and the hope of a brighter future, we will find the everlasting peace of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. He is the help of the helpless, and He will abide with us when all other comforts flee and will stay with us through cloud and sunshine. I testify that He is the Savior of the World, the Only Begotten, and our Friend, and that he will send us angels, both seen and unseen, to lift us up when we cannot lift ourselves, in the name of. . .
Nate Livsey 